The Ultimate Summer '08 Movie Guide

With over 50 major movie releases coming out this summer—ranging from good (Iron Man, The Dark Knight, Indiana Jones, Wall-E) to not-so-good (The Incredible Hulk, You Don't Mess With the Zohan) to downright embarassing (What Happens in Vegas, Meet Dave)—keeping track of what comes out when can become a chore, especially when you need to filter out all the crap. AlwaysWatching.org seeks to put a stop to that. This guide not only offers a comprehensive look at what films come out during the months of May through August '08, but it also offers important info, trailer links, a buzz-meter ranking (which reflects our expectations/excitement for the films at hand), and commentary/rants/random babbling on what you can expect from those films as well. And if that's not enough for you, we've also got a rundown of the top ten movies you just can't afford to miss this summer.

---

Want to skip ahead to a certain month? Just click below.

MAY • JUNE • JULY • AUGUST

---

The Must-Sees of Summer '08

Click the images to skip ahead to the film's release coverage.

10. Hancock

9. Speed Racer

8. X-Files: I Want to Believe

7. Tropic Thunder

6. Pineapple Express

5. Hellboy II: The Golden Army

4. Wall-E

3. Iron Man

2. The Dark Knight

1. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

---

IRON MAN

Directed by: Jon Favreau

Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Terrence Howard, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jeff Bridges

Synopsis: After being captured by terrorists, multi-billionaire industrialist/charismatic mofo Tony Stark builds a protective suit of armor to keep himself alive, later deciding to use the technology against all wrongdoers in the world.

Trailer (HD): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbjdX_7nZPg&fmt=18

What to Expect: As long as people aren't completely burned out from the hundreds upon hundreds of trailers, posters, movie clips, and promotional images, Iron Man looks like the movie to beat this summer. The casting is flawless, the action looks kickass, the costume design is pitch-perfect, and the production is being headed by Jon Favreau, a director who's just as passionate a fan as the moviegoers counting down the days till the film's release. He also has a true talent when it comes to practical effects, as he proved with Zathura. And to think, if he can turn something as seemingly pointless as that film into such a wonderful family film, just imagine what he can do with a movie that has truly excellent source material. Also: Robert Downey Jr. 'Nuff said.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

MADE OF HONOR

Directed by: Paul Weiland

Starring: Patrick Dempsey, Michelle Monaghan

Synopsis: A ladies man gets asked by his female best friend who he's secretly in love with to be her "maid of honor" for her wedding.

Trailer: http://youtube.com/watch?v=IGVpvkMmjK4

What to Expect: Yet another inoffensive, bland and unoriginal chick flick, but with Patrick Dempsey taking over for Hugh Grant. Not even the amazing Michelle Monaghan (from the hugely underrated Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang) presents enough incentive to give this film the go-ahead. And man does that stupid pun in the title make me cringe.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

SON OF RAMBOW (Limited Release)

Directed by: Garth Jennings

Starring: Bill Milner

Synopsis: Two boys watch a pirated copy of Rambo: First Blood and use it as inspiration to make their own movie, which gives them a newfound popularity at school.

Trailer: http://youtube.com/watch?v=jDFNLHH_D2M

What to Expect: If early word-of-mouth is to be believed, this British indie comedy should be a hugely pleasant and enjoyable break from the bigger movies of the summer. Anybody who was interested in Be Kind Rewind but found themselves disappointed by the final product should give this a try.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

SPEED RACER

Directed by: Andy Wachowski, Larry Wachowski

Starring: Emile Hirsch, Matthew Fox, Christina Ricci

Synopsis: A live action film adaptation of the 1960s Japanese animated series.

Trailer (HD): http://youtube.com/watch?v=kO_TcSnuS9Q

What to Expect: For every undeniably cool-looking trailer the studios have released, there have been equal measures of excessive cheesiness prevalent that makes the film look just plain cartoonish. Which makes sense, given that it's based on a cartoon. People also need to realize that this one's being geared toward the kiddies, so expectations should be tweaked as such. If nothing else, it should make for a fun time at the movies. (Unless, of course, you're susceptible to seizures.)

Buzz-Meter:    

 

WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS

Directed by: Tom Vaughan

Starring: Cameron Diaz, Ashton Kutcher

Synopsis: Wackiness ensues when two down-on-their-luck individuals who wake up in Vegas married to each other, and then win $3,000,000, forcing them to battle it out for the money.

Trailer (HD): http://youtube.com/watch?v=13xy7FMS100

What to Expect: This looks downright painful. They've managed to put onscreen together two of Hollywood's most annoying personalities and then combine that with the most sitcom-ish plot imaginable. Seriously, watch that trailer above. All that's missing is the record skip sound effects everytime something "wacky" and "shocking" happens.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

REDBELT

Directed by: David Mamet

Starring: Chiwetel Ejiofor, Tim Allen, Emily Mortimer

Synopsis: A top mixed-martial arts instructor gets a job in the film business, only to find himself on the opposite end of a con.

Trailer: http://youtube.com/watch?v=QFrHNaq-6qE

What to Expect: Looks like the studios are having a hard time marketing this one. Which makes complete sense. It's David Mamet, after all. Fans of his will probably love it. But those excited to see a strictly action-oriented martial arts film? Not so much.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

THE FALL (Limited Release)

Directed by: Tarsem Singh

Starring: Catinca Untaru

Synopsis: Fantasy and reality blur in this fantastical tale told by a bedridden man to a little girl in a hospital.

Trailer: http://youtube.com/watch?v=2SzwGGOttCY

What to Expect: No doubt this film will have gorgeous and hugely inventive visuals (what else would you expect from the director of The Cell?), but there doesn't seem to be much of a story to back them up. However, if executed well, the concept could make for a fascinating and compelling emotional/philosophical journey. Fingers crossed for the latter.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

THE TRACEY FRAGMENTS (Limited Release)

Directed by: Bruce McDonald

Starring: Ellen Page

Synopsis: According to IMDb, "15-year-old Tracey Berkowitz is naked under a shower curtain at the back of a bus, looking for her little brother Sonny, who thinks he's a dog." Yikes. It would seem the Hot Topic crowd has a new movie to fawn over.

Trailer: http://youtube.com/watch?v=v0jEN2_REy4

What to Expect: With Ellen Page taking off as well as she has, it's easy to see why many would be excited about her latest film. However, based on the unprofessionally edited original trailer, which seems to give a much clearer indication of what the actual film is like (i.e., not good), it's clear Page is the sole reason for the movie having picked up this much steam in the first place. Looks like the filmmakers owe Juno a thanks. (Also, FYI - Apparently the "fragmented" editing style serves no purpose in the film. Lame.)

Buzz-Meter:    

 

THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN

Directed by: Andrew Adamson

Starring: Georgie Henley, Skandar Keynes, William Moseley

Synopsis: The "Narnia" series continues with this adaptation of the second novel in C. S. Lewis' children's fantasy series.

Trailer (HD): http://youtube.com/watch?v=pqkzVpjj038

What to Expect: This one's pretty straight-forward. If you liked The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, you'll like this. If you didn't, you won't. And if you're a prepubescent female, then it doesn't matter whether or not you liked the previous film, because this one has a male model-looking hottie with long hair and a bad accent, so buy your ticket and prepare to swoon.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL

Directed by: Steven Spielberg

Starring: Harrison Ford, Cate Blanchett, Shia LaBeouf

Synopsis: Here's what we know so far: There's a kingdom, and there's a crystal skull. (Well, I'm sold!)

Trailer (HD): http://youtube.com/watch?v=iKK9Qx0qNX4

What to Expect: Who cares that Harrison Ford's old enough to be using a walker, this movie has "ass-kicking goodness" written all over it. We may not have seen a whole lot from it yet (aside of course from that brilliant image featuring the lovably goofy Shia LaBeouf giving Cate Blanchett a faceful of fist), but that's just going to make the experience all the more rewarding when we sit down to see it on the big screen for the first time. And with Steven Spielberg back at the helm, not even George Lucas' astonishing ability to turn everything to "suck" can possibly taint it. This one's going to be huge.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

WAR, INC. (Limited Release)

Directed by: Joshua Seftel

Starring: John Cusack, Joan Cusack, Marisa Tomei, Hilary Duff, Ben Kingsley

Synopsis: A troubled hit man is forced to pose as a Trade Show Producer in order to kill a Middle East oil minister.

Trailer: http://youtube.com/watch?v=daFGJkKFevI

What to Expect: This war-based dark comedy/satire would probably be a lot more intriguing if it weren't for Lord of War having come out only a few years ago. And that nagging feeling of familiarity only starts there: I seem to recall John Cusack playing another troubled hitman about ten years back (Gross Pointe Blank, anyone?). Maybe if we pretend this is a sequel, it will be easier to swallow.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

SEX AND THE CITY: THE MOVIE

Directed by: Michael Patrick King

Starring: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon

Synopsis: A follow-up to the popular HBO series.

Trailer: http://youtube.com/watch?v=rpEHk7Y-qZA

What to Expect: For some reason or another, I just can't find myself getting into this film. Maybe it's because I have a penis. Or maybe it's because I'm not attracted to horses. Whatever the case, it doesn't matter, because females will most certainly flock to this (debatably) unnecessary TV show follow-up featuring middle-aged women exchanging scathing banter and clever quips while boning rich dudes.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

THE STRANGERS

Directed by: Bryan Bertino

Starring: Scott Speedman, Liv Tyler, Gemma Ward

Synopsis: A young vacationing couple are terrorized by three mysterious assailants.

Trailer: http://youtube.com/watch?v=nCU0k_jbCUo

What to Expect: Good horror is hard to come by these days. While it's no guarantee that The Strangers will temporarily remedy that, one thing is for sure - it looks fucking terrifying. The plot's definitely not anything special (nor is it even much of a plot), so viewers should only take the plunge on this one if (a.) they're ready for some good ol' fashioned heart-stopping horror, and (b.) they have an extra change of underwear.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

THE FOOT FIST WAY (Limited Release)

Directed by: Jody Hill

Starring: Danny R. McBride, Ben Best

Synopsis: An inept karate instructor struggles with marital troubles and an unhealthy obsession with fellow karate enthusiest Chuck "The Truck" Williams.

Trailer: http://youtube.com/watch?v=eXaR4wlGu3s

What to Expect: This low-budget indie comedy is a cult classic in the making. The buzz so far has been through the roof, and if you watched the special features on the 2-disc set for Superbad, then you already know how much the Apatow clan have been raving about it. Should be worth a few solid belly laughs.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN

Directed by: Dennis Dugan

Starring: Adam Sandler, Emmanuelle Chriqui

Synopsis: An Israeli commando fakes his death so he can fulfull his dream of becoming a hairstylist in New York.

Trailer (HD): http://youtube.com/watch?v=jgDlpCCiC7c

What to Expect: Co-written by Judd Apatow though it may be, his magic touch hasn't seemed to rubbed off on this one, with everything about it appearing to culminate in an overwhelming sense of "stupid." I mean, even more so than usual for Adam Sandler. The movie will probably have a couple decent laughs, but that's it.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

KUNG-FU PANDA

Directed by: Mark Osborne, John Stevenson

Starring: Jack Black, Ian McShane, Jackie Chan, Dustin Hoffman, Lucy Liu, Angelina Jolie

Synopsis: Po the panda, one of the valley's laziest animals, unwittingly becomes the chosen one when his way of life is threatened.

Trailer (HD): http://youtube.com/watch?v=8WqsS_bEYqM

What to Expect: This film's going to surprise a lot of people, I can tell. A number of parents are going to be dragged kicking and screaming by their eager children to see a stupid kid's flick in which an overweight Jack Black tries to become a master of combat (didn't they already pay to see that when their kids forced them to endure Nacho Libre?), but will walk out pleasantly surprised by a genuinely decent family film. Or, possibly, it could suck noodles. But I'm banking on the former.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

MONGOL (Limited Release)

Directed by: Sergei Bodrov

Starring: Tadanobu Asano, Amadu Mamadakov, Khulan Chuluun

Synopsis: A story about the early life of Genghis Khan.

Trailer: http://youtube.com/watch?v=BMJ_XLOjb88

What to Expect: There's no need for me to estimate "what to expect" here, since it was nominated in 2007 for the Best Foreign Film Oscar and has already received an excessive amount of positive word-of-mouth. All you need to do is watch the trailer and decide if the plot interests you, because if so, you're going to love this movie.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

THE PROMOTION (Limited Release)

Directed by: Steve Conrad

Starring: Seann William Scott, John C. Reilly

Synopsis: Two assistant managers of a corporate grocery store vie for a coveted promotion.

What to Expect: That we haven't heard more about this movie is a little surprising, considering the amount of talent in the leading roles. The reviews from its premiere at the SXSW Film festival were generally positive, and the plot sounds very reminiscent of Employee of the Month, except, you know, good.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

THE MOTHER OF TEARS (Limited Release)

Directed by: Dario Argento

Starring: Asia Argento

Synopsis: The final installment of the "Three Mothers" trilogy.

Trailer: http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZKOL1RCkUao

What to Expect: Why is it that one of the so-called "masters of horror," Dario Argento (the same man who brought us Suspiria), has lately been completely unable to craft a horror film even remotely worthwhile? That question is and will likely always remain a mystery, but the answer to if this movie will suck or not most certainly won't. (Hint: It will.)

Buzz-Meter:    

 

THE INCREDIBLE HULK

Directed by: Louis Leterrier

Starring: Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth

Synopsis: Dr. Bruce Banner seeks to understand and cure his condition in which he transforms into a rampaging monster. Hulk sad.

Trailer (HD): http://youtube.com/watch?v=QnBNTtgo2mY

What to Expect: There are so many things wrong with this production, it's impossible to know where to start. From the curious lack of marketing to the hugely underwhelming trailer release, everything about this sequel/remake/spinoff/reimagining has taken a faulty turn one way or the other, and the buzz surrounding it has been anything but positive. At the same time, however, Edward Norton is awesome, and having him battle it out with Tim Roth (one of Hollywood's most underrated actors) should be a lot of fun. Especially if director Louis Leterrier (Unleashed) follows through on his promise for a 30-minute Hulk showdown.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

THE HAPPENING

Directed by: M. Night Shyamalan

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, John Leguizamo

Synopsis: A family attempts to escape a large-scale threat to society, the cause of which will likely cause audiences to jump out of their seats and shout, "What a twist!"

Trailer (HD): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKYK4ktPXhA&fmt=18

What to Expect: Even if you haven't yet lost faith in M. Night after Lady in the Water... Even if you thought the trailer actually looked pretty cool... Even if you have a total hard-on for Mark Wahlberg... You don't know what this film is actually about yet. And I do. And it makes me very, very sad. Without really spoiling it, I'll offer up two tidbits: it's preachy and environmental-based. If you want another more spoilery tidbit, highlight the following text:
It's about killer trees, plants, and wind.
And yes, I'm dead fucking serious.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

GET SMART

Directed by: Peter Segal

Starring: Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway, Alan Arkin

Synopsis: An adaptation of the '60s television show of the same name.

Trailer (HD): http://youtube.com/watch?v=8MsbkQOxXAQ

What to Expect: After the awful Evan Almighty and hugely mediocre Dan in Real Life, Steve Carell could really use a win. It's doubtful Get Smart will present that win, but based on the most recent trailer, it should at least provide a number of hilarious set pieces and clever gags. I suppose that's enough.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

THE LOVE GURU

Directed by: Marco Schnabel

Starring: Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, Romany Malco

Synopsis: A guru returns to America and breaks into the self-help business, starting with aiding a professional hockey player's career downfall.

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVdD0ZxPq_g

What to Expect: In this latest entry of the Austin Powers series... Oh, wait, I'm sorry, let me start over. In this wholly original and new entry in the nonexistent Love Guru series, Mike Myers tries to make people laugh by regurgitating exactly the same jokes we've already seem him perform on about a dozen occasions. Even the film's protagonist, the guru Pitka, reads like an unused Austin Powers character. Pass.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

WALL-E

Directed by: Andrew Stanton

Starring: Ben Burtt, Jeff Garlin, Fred Willard

Synopsis: An adorable robot named Wall-E develops a personality and falls in love with a much more advanced robot named Eve.

Trailer (HD): http://youtube.com/watch?v=mC86heBo0d4

What to Expect: This is going to be one of Pixar's best. Having seen a little over a third of the completed product, I can safely say, the only way somebody could be disappointed by this movie is if they're lacking a soul. Everything about it is simply heart-warming and spectacular. You'd have to be crazy to miss out on it.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

WANTED

Directed by: Timur Bekmambetov

Starring: Morgan Freeman, James McAvoy, Angelina Jolie

Synopsis: An apathetic nobody joins a team of justice-enforcing assassins.

Trailer (HD): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrE0GoAsjY8

What to Expect: If you can look past how frustratingly little the filmmakers stuck to the graphic novel source material, and pretend to yourself that this version of Wanted is entirely unrelated to it, then I can see this being a lot of ridiculous fun. It's the type of popcorn movie that shouldn't be taken too seriously, even though it holds a straight face all throughout it's hundreds of bullet curves, car flips, and extended middle fingers to physics.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

HANCOCK

Directed by: Peter Berg

Starring: Will Smith, Charlize Theron, Jason Bateman

Synopsis: A down-on-his-luck superhero seeks the help of a public relations professional to help repair his image.

Trailer (HD): http://youtube.com/watch?v=EmQKwDeCGUk

What to Expect: I'm a big admirer of the Fresh Prince (as well as the Bluth company), so I can look past some of the iffy early screening reviews the movie has gotten thus far. Apparently there are a lot of issues with the film's pacing and love interest storyline. Those may sound like fairly major problems, but then again, the film's about Will Smith as a sarcastic alcoholic hobo-esque superhero. With a plot that good, what could go wrong?

Buzz-Meter:    

 

KIT KITTREDGE: AN AMERICAN GIRL

Directed by: Patricia Rozema

Starring: Abigail Breslin, Stanley Tucci, Joan Cusack

Synopsis: A drama based on the American girl doll line.

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HGi7S_dZBQ

What to Expect: Obviously I'm not the target demographic for this, but I have to say, it's almost scary how fast Abigail Breslin went from the adorable up-and-coming star from the indie hit Little Miss Sunshine to the go-to actress for any mediocre project in need of a nameless little girl who can recite dialogue more suited for adults.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

THE WACKNESS (Limited Release)

Directed by: Jonathan Levine

Starring: Ben Kingsley, Josh Peck, Famke Janssen

Synopsis: A tale set in the '90s about a teenager that trades drugs with his psychiatrist for therapy sessions.

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PssqgDxY_w

What to Expect: This was a bit hit at Sundance, and based on what's been shown so far, will probably appeal to those who enjoy coming-of-age stories that encompass a specific time period (such as Dazed and Confused did with the '70s).

Buzz-Meter:    

 

HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY

Directed by: Guillermo del Toro

Starring: Ron Perlman, Doug Jones, Selma Blair

Synopsis: Hellboy and his team fight against a rebellion from the mythical world.

Trailer (HD): http://youtube.com/watch?v=itD7cybysqg

What to Expect: Guillermo del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth) is a brilliant visionary director, and Ron Perlman was born to play Hellboy. You shouldn't need any more convincing than that, but if you do, just watch that glorious trailer a few more times. Gives me goose bumps. This one looks to be even better than the first.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH 3D

Directed by: Eric Brevig

Starring: Brendan Fraser, Josh Hutcherson

Synopsis: A trio of individuals go on a fantastical adventure to a lost world in the center of the earth.

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0erXbext9Ts

What to Expect: Watch this movie if you want to see 80 minutes of forced sight gags where things fly at you in 3D, because that's literally all you're going to get out of it. The only real appeal of this movie is being able to get a taste for the technology behind James Cameron's Avatar.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

MEET DAVE

Directed by: Brian Robbins

Starring: Eddie Murphy, Elizabeth Banks

Synopsis: A crew of miniature aliens operate a spaceship that has a human form.

Trailer (HD): http://youtube.com/watch?v=lJldAtrlxq8

What to Expect: Eddie Murphy further proves just how low his career has sunk with this painfully bad looking comedy in which he yet again plays multiple different oddball characters. How much more of this can we possibly take?

Buzz-Meter:    

 

RELIGULOUS (Limited Release)

Directed by: Larry Charles

Starring: Bill Maher

Synopsis: Bill Maher's take on the current state of world religion.

What to Expect: Athiests and fans of Bill Maher will love this. Religious people will not. Probably the simplest math in the world.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

THE DARK KNIGHT

Directed by: Christopher Nolan

Starring: Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Aaron Eckhart

Synopsis: Batman takes on the psychotic bank robber known as The Joker.

Trailer (HD): http://youtube.com/watch?v=j3JtIkTktz0

What to Expect: Heath Ledger's passing was tragic, certainly, but at least he has this film to honor his memory and show the world just how amazing of an actor he really was. It helps also that he's being surrounded here by some of the world's most talented individuals, from master filmmaker Christopher Nolan to the best actor to ever play Batman, Christian Bale. The wait until July 18th is going to be excruciating.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

MAMMA MIA!

Directed by: Phyllida Lloyd

Starring: Meryl Streep, Pierce Brosnan, Amanda Seyfried

Synopsis: An adaptation of the popular musical about a bride-to-be trying to find her real father.

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6OmeoB6m_U

What to Expect: Eh, this will probably be alright. Meryl Streep's always fantastic, and the music doesn't seem half bad. If you're looking for a good date movie this summer, this is probably your only option (unless your date is awesome and is a big Batman fan).

Buzz-Meter:    

 

SPACE CHIMPS

Directed by: Kirk De Micco

Starring: Andy Samberg, Stanley Tucci, Jeff Daniels

Synopsis: Three monkeys travel into space and attempt to rid a planet of its nefarious leader.

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agQZx5jz1js

What to Expect: It's one thing for a CGI kid's film to not reach up the standard of Pixar, but this one doesn't even look like it's up the standards of Dreamworks. Skip it.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

THE X-FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE

Directed by: Chris Carter

Starring: David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, Billy Connolly

Synopsis: A sequel to the film adaptation of the cult television show favorite.

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emkQETpv2KU

What to Expect: A lot of this project has been shrouded in mystery, and this sequel is way overdue. Predicting anything at this point is damn near impossible (for example, I never would've guessed they'd tag on that horrible sub-title). But X-Files fans have suffered some pretty huge lows before and still managed to come out smiling and ready for more, so it's doubtful there'll be much disappointment come time for the film's release.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

STEP BROTHERS

Directed by: Adam McKay

Starring: Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly

Synopsis: After their single parents get married, two spoiled guys become step brothers.

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_B30-AsClQ

What to Expect: While Will Ferrell's schtick may be getting old lately, this movie looks to revive his status as America's favorite funny man by re-pairing him with the hugely underrated John C. Reilly. Whenever I stop to think about the many ways this film could end up being awful, I just replay in my head that scene from the trailer where Will Ferrell is trying to bury John C. Reilly while he's still alive. Heh heh.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

AMERICAN TEEN

Directed by: Nanette Burstein

Synopsis: A documentary about a group of teenage seniors at a small town Indiana high school.

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Y1N3bJiVoU

What to Expect: The trailer makes the documentary look like a more respectable version of The O.C. or The Hills (or maybe some other crap TV show - I don't know which, so I try to avoid all of them), but this looks like a case where you really have to view the finished product before venturing any guesses as to how good the thing's gonna be. All the reviews so far (from Sundance) have been extremely positive, some even labeling it as the best movie of the year so far. High praise, to be sure, and though I'm not inclined to believe all of it, it does look like this movie will have a lot to offer anybody with both fond and negative memories of their high school and teenage years.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

THE LONGSHOTS

Directed by: Fred Durst

Starring: Ice Cube, Keke Palmer

Synopsis: The true story of an 11-year-old girl who became the first female to play Pop Warner football tournament.

What to Expect: Ignoring the fact that the plot just sounds boring, let's clarify something here: the film's directed by Fred Durst. Yes, Fred Durst. The guy from Limp Bizkit. And he's doing a kid's film. Starring Ice Cube. Excuse me for being preemptive, but... the odds of this movie being any good are about the same as Limp Bizkit making an album that doesn't suck.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

HENRY POOLE IS HERE

Directed by: Mark Pellington

Starring: Luke Wilson, Rhada Mitchell, George Lopez

Synopsis: A depressed man has his attempt at peace interrupted when its discovered that the face of Jesus can be seen from a water stain on his house.

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qcpIZdppMw

What to Expect: This looks enjoyable enough. The plot is fairly original and it's a pretty ripe subject for comedy and drama. I don't see anybody clamoring over this one, but during a lesser summer it'd probably be a solid time waster. Definitely one to check out on DVD.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

BAGHEAD (Limited Release)

Directed by: Jay Duplass, Mark Duplass

Starring: Ross Partridge, Steve Zissis

Synopsis: The dynamics of relationships are explored in this in-depth study of a group of desperate actor friends. And a bag. And a head.

Movie Clips: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYzcxkshGSc

What to Expect: I'm not one to pick on indie films, so I'll gloss over this entry with only one word: Really?

Buzz-Meter:    

 

THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR

Directed by: Rob Cohen

Starring: Brendan Fraser, Jet Li, Maria Bello

Synopsis: The trouble-seeking father and son duo return to battle an unearthed shape-shifting entity who was cursed by a wizard centuries ago.

What to Expect: Did we really need another Mummy film? Probably not, but the director of The Fast and the Furious and Stealth thought so, and Brendan Fraiser was too desperate to turn down a paycheck. Not Rachel Weisz though, who actually has dignity. On the plus side, the film's Asian setting should add a fresh spin to the series, and the villain this go-around is Jet Li. We could certainly do worse.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN

Directed by: Ryuhei Kitamura

Starring: Bradley Cooper, Vinnie Jones

Synopsis: A photographer hunts down a serial killer.

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pifkqLq6c0

What to Expect: Once I finished stifling my laughter after hearing the film's title, I quickly warmed up to this film. It's got a pretty cool premise (based on the short story by Clive Barker), offers an incredibly slick visual style, and has Vinnie Jones as a psycho killer. I'm game.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU

Directed by: Ken Kwapis

Starring: Jennifer Connelly, Jennifer Aniston, Scarlett Johansson, Ben Affleck, Drew Barrymore

Synopsis: A movie based on the self-help book of the same name.

What to Expect: I have no idea what the hell this book that the film's based on is, nor do I know why it warrants a film adaptation (do self-help books have storylines now?), but the all-star cast certainly looks appealing. Although, it's hard to get too excited what with it being from the same director as License to Wed.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

THE ROCKER

Directed by: Peter Cattaneo

Starring: Rainn Wilson

Synopsis: A failed drummer is given his second chance at fame.

What to Expect: It has Rainn Wilson from The Office. What more do you want?

Buzz-Meter:    

 

SWING VOTE

Directed by: Joshua Michael Stern

Starring: Kevin Costner, Paula Patton, Kelsey Grammer

Synopsis: The result of the presidential election comes down to one man's vote.

What to Expect: This plotline just seems a little too ridiculous to fully buy into. I'll wait to see a trailer.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

PINEAPPLE EXPRESS

Directed by: David Gordon Green

Starring: Seth Rogen, James Franco, Gary Cole

Synopsis: A stoner and his drug dealer go on the run from the police after he witnesses a cop commit a murder.

Trailer: http://www.firstshowing.net/2008/02/12/must...

What to Expect: What a great year for stoner comedies. This one in particular looks downright hysterical, with James Franco actually playing the gag man to the more straight-laced Seth Rogen. Even weirder is that it's from hailed indie director David Gordon Green (George Washington), who has never before done comedy. That might make some nervous, but I suspect he'll add to this film a sense of credibility and class never before seen in the world of raunchy R-rated stoner comedies. Wow, that's a sentence I never thought I'd write.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

THE SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS 2

Directed by: Sanaa Hamri

Starring: America Ferrera, Alexis Bledel, Amber Tamblyn

Synopsis: A sequel to the adaptation of the teen book series, this one being based around the fourth novel.

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPppkkfKSiU

What to Expect: Girls giggling while sharing an unbreakable bond, having fun-filled adventures, and oggling shirtless guys. Oh joy.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

HELL RIDE (Limited Release)

Directed by: Larry Bishop

Starring: Larry Bishop, Dennis Hopper, Michael Madsen

Synopsis: A tale of the characters Pistolero, the Gent and Comanche and the deadly, unfinished business among them.

What to Expect: While not likely to be remotely as good as Grindhouse, this film will hopefully deliver some quality B-movie fun all the same.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

TROPIC THUNDER

Directed by: Ben Stiller

Starring: Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Robert Downey Jr.

Synopsis: A group of actors shooting a big-budget war movie are captured by enemy forces and find themselves needing to become the soldiers they're portraying.

Trailer (HD): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TwvMzH7c9A

What to Expect: Robert Downey Jr. as a black man. That alone has guaranteed my ticket bought. The fact that the rest of the film looks great as well is just a bonus. It really seems like they've worked out the perfect combination of action, comedy, parody, and shit blowing up. And I gotta admit, it's nice to see Ben Stiller taking another temporary break from playing the whiny, awkward dork we always see him as.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS

Directed by: Dave Filoni

Synopsis: A CGI film that takes place between Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith.

Trailer: http://gizmodo.com/379190/leaked-clone-wars-tra...

What to Expect: This is a little bizarre. They're releasing in theaters a CGI Star Wars movie to precede a TV show that will air on Cartoon Network. It looks interesting, but the theatrical release just feels like a ploy to make extra cash on a popular property when it should really be released straight-to-DVD.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

TOWELHEAD (Limited Release)

Directed by: Alan Ball

Starring: Summer Bishil, Aaron Eckhart, Peter Macdissi

Synopsis: A film adaptation of the Alicia Erian novel of the same name about an Arab girl dealing with racism.

Movie Clips: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAlq51SF-jw

What to Expect: Being hailed as "the feel-bad movie of the year," this drama written/directed by Alan Ball (who wrote American Beauty and Six Feet Under) has received both exceptionally positive and scathingly negative feedback due to some of the offensive material it tackles.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

BANGKOK DANGEROUS

Directed by: Oxide Pang Chun, Danny Pang

Starring: Nicolas Cage

Synopsis: A hitman hired to pull off a series of jobs falls for a local woman and bonds with his errand boy.

Trailer (HD): http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ge2AL3mLkUE

What to Expect: Nicolas Cage has been on a downward spiral of shit-tastic movies for the last couple years, so I almost instinctively assume everything he does from now onward will suck by default. But even removing those preconceived notions, this doesn't look very good. He plays a hitman named Joe. What kind of screenwriter names their hitman Joe? If they can't even name a character, how can they write a decent movie?

Buzz-Meter:    

 

CROSSING OVER

Directed by: Wayne Kramer

Starring: Harrison Ford, Sean Penn, Ray Liotta, Ashley Judd

Synopsis: Immigrants of different nationalities struggle to achieve legal status in Los Angeles.

What to Expect: I've never heard of this film before now, but the excellent cast plus the fantastic director (Wayne Kramer, who was the man behind two excellent underrated gems, The Cooler and Running Scared) equals a guarantee for success. The plot sounds a little "meh," but let's wait to see what they do with it.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

THE HOUSE BUNNY

Directed by: Fred Wolf

Starring: Anna Faris

Synopsis: A Playboy bunny is tossed out of the mansion and joins a sorority.

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coonC811-qQ

What to Expect: This film showed promise initially, but as soon as that trailer was released it became clear that this is just another stupid, unfunny comedy with a eye-rollingly cliche plot. Hmmm, the hot girl meets some smart nerdy girls with low self-esteem who are actually incredibly hot but have been made to look ugly. I wonder what's going to happen. Maybe she's going to "help" them by training them to show off their outer beauty (i.e., be more slutty like her), thus they'll become popular, and maybe she'll even learn a little something about herself in the process. Oh, Anna Faris, you sure know how to pick them.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

THE ACCIDENTAL HUSBAND

Directed by: Griffin Dunne

Starring: Uma Thurman, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Justina Machado

Synopsis: When talk radio host Emma Lloyd advises one of her listeners to break up with her boyfriend, the jilted ex sets about getting his revenge.

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSu42va9I2Q

What to Expect: Everyone's favorite assassin bride with a vengeance from some reason continues to tackle only the most worthless roles imaginable, and it makes my heart drop every time.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

WILD CHILD

Directed by: Nick Moore

Starring: Emma Roberts

Synopsis: A rebellious Malibu princess is shipped off to a strict English boarding school by her father.

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jizwovh-BSo

What to Expect: If you're wondering why I graded this a "1" on the Buzz-Meter, then you obviously haven't watched the trailer. Consider that a blessing. If I had kids, I wouldn't try to hide sex and violence from them... I'd try to hide movies like these.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

HAMLET 2 (Limited Release)

Directed by: Andrew Fleming

Starring: Steve Coogan, Elisabeth Shue, Catherine Keener

Synopsis: A high school drama teacher looks to motivate his students and save his department by writing a sequel to Shakespeare's "Hamlet".

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqeCYJ1GJyo

What to Expect: There was a lot of buzz about this film after Sundance, so hopefully the hype can live up to the hilarious premise.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

FLY ME TO THE MOON

Directed by: Ben Stassen

Starring: Buzz Aldrin, Ed Begley Jr., Tim Curry

Synopsis: Three young houseflies stow away aboard the Apollo 11 flight to the moon.

What to Expect: Already released in some parts of the world, this Belgium 3D movie should interest those eager for their IMAX fix.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

CHOKE

Directed by: Clark Gregg

Starring: Sam Rockwell, Anjelica Huston, Kelly Macdonald

Synopsis: An adaptation of the Chuck Palahniuk novel about a sex-addicted con-man pays for his mother's hospital bills by playing on the sympathies of those who rescue him from choking to death.

Movie Clips: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87x-FW4-O90

What to Expect: As a major fan of Chuck Palahniuk (who wrote "Fight Club"), I've eagerly been awaiting this film adaptation of what I consider to be his best book, "Choke". But as much as I'm still excited to see it, my expectations have been severely diminished after watching a few clips from it. The quality of the writing is intact, and Sam Rockwell in the lead is some of the best casting of all-time, but the direction is lacking any sort of flair or style necessary to bring Palahniuk's work to life.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

BABYLON A.D.

Directed by: Mathieu Kassovitz

Starring: Vin Diesel, Michelle Yeoh, Mélanie Thierry

Synopsis: Veteran-turned-mercenary Thoorop takes the high-risk job of escorting a woman from Russia to China. Little does he know that she is host to an organism that a cult wants to harvest in order to produce a genetically modified Messiah.

Movie Clips: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyM01VtMADA

What to Expect: The history for this film's production has been a sordid one, and we haven't really seen anything other than a few scattered images and random clips to give an idea of how good the finished product will be. But still, it looks cool, so I'll give it the benefit of the doubt until a legitimate trailer arrives.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

TRAITOR

Directed by: Jeffrey Nachmanoff

Starring: Guy Pearce, Neal McDonough, Don Cheadle, Jeff Daniels

Synopsis: A special operative working with a terrorist group becomes the target of the CIA.

What to Expect: The central info known about this movie basically comes down to this: Guy Pearce, Don Cheadle, and a plot revolving around terrorists and the CIA. Hey, that's good enough for me.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

COLLEGE

Directed by: Deb Hagan

Starring: Drake Bell, Kevin Covais, Andrew Caldwell

Synopsis: Three high school seniors embark on a visit to a local college campus as prospective freshmen and experience a wild weekend.

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moda08bLV1s

What to Expect: The premise is loaded with potential, but the three lead teenage actors don't look up to snuff. Even looking at it optimistically, this definitely won't be the next Superbad.

Buzz-Meter:    

 

Some synopses provided by IMDB.